Player Notes on Tiger Stuff


In honor of destroying the Missouri Tigers, we’re going to rate players based on a tiger theme. No Missouri mascots or mockery here, DRY bless their hearts. Oh, and by the way, I’m not giving any player a bad score today because no one was bad.

5 stars: real tigers

These creatures are perhaps the most majestic land animal there is. Inspiring.

I give five stars to the whole starting line-up, starting with Ochai Agbaji. The KC senior managed five of seven on the three-point line, and was really only throwing daggers at Mizzou’s chances of being close whenever he got the ball. Finished with 23 points.

Christian braun came out a possessed man and really could have done with more if he had maintained that intensity. He led the charge and finished with 13 points.

David McCormack went back and forth today, but it also gets a five star! I was happy to see Big Dave shoot free throws like we know he can.

It took Remy Martin a moment to warm up and be a part of the game, but when he did, he looked good. I’m going to go ahead and say Remy should be shooting free throws for techniques from now on if he’s eligible.

Dajuan harris Probably had a personal ax to grind in that game against his hometown college, and when he started beating three in the first half, you knew it was KU’s day to dominate. He scored 13 overall and knocked down three of four from deep.

4.5 stars: Tigermilk by Belle & Sebastian

One of my favorite bands gets a 4.5 star rating. I know it won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, especially on this site where a musical debate probably pops up once a week, but the debut album from these Scottish indie rockers is a classic. I also highly recommend Dear disaster waitress, if you are feeling spooky, and Girls in peacetime want to dance. They are all excellent.

Yeah, Mitch lightfoot fouled up, but the constant smirk on his face in this one earns him a 4.5-star accolade. He also had nine points.

4 stars: Daniel Tigre

This little guy rose to fame in the Mister Rogers neighborhood and has since skyrocketed in popularity since getting his new solo show. I don’t even have kids and I know this cuddly little guy.

Jalen Coleman-Lands had two to three points and finished with eight points in 12 minutes.

The other Jalen, Mr. Wilson also had a decent game, totaling seven points. Still to be done, he gets a four star for his superstitious nature. He didn’t wear his usual underarmor on his legs in the first half, probably trying to break the spell. The white leggings were back in the second and he did more damage.

3.5 stars: Tiger Woods

Most of the sparkle has come off Eldrick’s luster over the past decade, but when Tiger Woods was in his prime, he could have been the most dominant athlete in all of sports.

Everyone fits in here (Zach Clémence, KJ Adams, Chris Teahan, Michael Jankovic), same Joseph yesufu who missed a dunk in a tragicomic style.

3 stars: Tiger King

People like it. I don’t know why, so I’m going to throw it in the middle like a three star.

2 stars: Tiger Beer

It’s Singapore’s favorite beer, and if you’re there, you’ll probably drink tons of it and have fun making it. But there are so many great beer choices here in the United States, that there’s no reason to buy it.

1 star: tiger hunt

Hunting for tigers or any other big game is for the losers.


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